Advertising is awful.

It’s happened again. I have found yet another thing I dislike that I can trace back to Advertising being legal, ever, anywhere.

My Youtube “Subscribed” list is a highly curated, incredibly well trimmed display of high quality content. The moment I get a whiff of somethin’ that’s a little stanky, a little twang in the air? You’re outta here.

This most recently happened to two Youtubers I’ve been subscribed to for years. CNC Kitchen and Thomas Sandlebars or whatever his name is, he’s “Made with Layers” now. But this happened a long time ago as well with Linus from his well known Tech Tips: How to have a good review if you pay me enough to like it

There’s a common cycle; Youtuber starts doing there thing, the quality of that actual production is a bit crap but the content is great. They refine their video techniques and the quality and delivery of the content is superb, this is where the creator shines. The “Algorithm” decides that they’ll be popular that day and they balloon in size. The content creator gets showered in Brand Deals, free products to talk about, etc. The quality of the content nose dives almost overnight and they are removed from my Youtube Subscription list. I see their videos pop up every now and again. Millions of views, no light behind their eyes. Another guy with a corporate wrist up their ass.

But I get it: this is the chance to actually be able to Youtube as a career…I wouldn’t want to do that, but hey, not everyone thinks the way I do and that’s okay. I’m not “Mad” at them for playing the game, I’m just mad at the game.

There’s one problem, one crux that always leaves me bewildered with the fact that anyone takes these people seriously:

It’s not a Review if you have a referral link.

This most recently happened on the two ’tub(m)ers I just mentioned. A new product drops, they release a day one video. It’s a “Review” with a title that screams ambiguity and a bright red arrow pointing directly at the heralding death marching towards the planet with a big :O face at the camera. This was for the latest Bamboo Labs printer which the new feature of connecting to nearby open wifi networks to stream your data out to their networks or something, I don’t know I don’t follow Bambu Labs or their garbage.

They both did the same, exact thing. They release a day one video, tell you how great it is “Oh man I wish it had another vent”, “oh no it’s just TOO GREAT”, “If you’re interested, use my referrel link below to buy it, because I get a cut of the sale, this review is impartial by the way”.

It’s just a fukkin’ ad. It’s an ad, it’s JUST an ad. But you have to be a little clever about it. You have to sprinkle in some “Downsides” to the product. You need to come up with a few very soft negatives about the product. Things that can either be fixed later or are so inconsequential that nobody actually cares. “Oh the software it ships with isn’t amazing” “Oh the lights on the thing are 3 lumens too bright, darn!!! Almost perfect!!!”

Why do they do this? Two very simple reasons. The first is that they want more free stuff. Nobody sends products to people who are actually going to rip it apart and tell you how garbage it is. As much as I’m lukewarm on them, Gamer’s Nexus at least buys their own stuff to review and puts it through a test gauntlet I would consider Good.

Second, because they have a god damn referral code in the description of the video. They get a cut of the sales.

This is where I get lost. How in the hell do you call something a “Review” if you’re selling it to me. You ever go to the Cutco booth at Costco? You know how they say “Our knives are great!” do you ever then turn around to your spouse/parent/kid/abductor and say “Yo these are great, the guy said, let’s buy them”? No? Yeah no you don’t because you’re not an idiot. The guy selling you the product Wants you to buy the product. CNC With Layers are selling the product. If you have a referral link, you’re an advertiser, you have a financial incentive to maaaaybe just a little bit go soft on something.

Why would someone, who’s going to make cash off of the purchase, tell me something sucks? They aren’t, because they don’t want to miss out on referrels and more free products for saying nice things.

This goes so far past people I actually watch. I’m in the market for Product so I wanted to look around for the general consensus of Product. I find video after video, article after article telling me about their “Experiences” and “Reviews” of Product and each and every one is filled with referral links.

So, just like with any product you see advertised via Social Media ads, like Instagram or Facebook, you can just assume any product who’s only discussion are referrel link filled ads is garbage. I assume Product is garbage and will not buy it. This technique has never failed me; at the very least you won’t buy as much stuff you don’t need.

Advertising is Bad.

I have very few hard line stances. I believe the world is many shades of gray. There is, however, one thing that I know as a fact is black and white: Advertising is Bad and should be outlawed.

The bots will not throw slop on my threads to convince me that “Yes, I too really want to know about New Products that I can Purchase with Credit Card!” with 40 replies all posted within 2 minutes agreeing with the post.

Nobody can convince me that the trillions of dollars spent to hijack my internet, my threads, every discussion-every waking thought are some how improving society in any way, shape or form.

There’s a reason we have no Consumer Protections in the US. If we did, half our economy would collapse overnight. This entire place is just surviving on scams, grifts and lies, the shell game getting faster and faster and harder to manage.

That leaves only one question.

How do you write a trustworthy review?

If you want to write a review, here are some guidelines.

• You must have purchased the item with your own money. If you were sent a product than your review cannot be trusted because you have an incentive to go easy on the thing because you might want “more” free stuff from the vendor.
• If you’re a BIG channel/personality and the brands/companies that you’re generally writing/talking about are aware of you (Think Gamers Nexus) then that item needs to have been purchased through a 3rd party with no connections. This is to prevent the “Tom Howard” Scam of sending “Influencers” the actual decent product, than scamming everyone else with a lesser product. Is this a pain in the ass? Absolutely. Should you do it anyway? If you don’t: It’s not a trustworthy review.
• You need to break the damn thing. Too many “Reviewers” use the thing for an hour then write a review. I want to know how much it’ll take to break it. I want to send it back to them in pieces. You see this especially for things like niche hobby hardware and I really just want to know one thing: is it made well enough to survive several years of use? How do you know? beat the hell out of it. You can’t simulate YEARS of hard use. So hit it with your 2008 Volvo and see if it still works.

So there you go: buy the thing with your own money, through a 3rd party if you’re big enough to warrant that and beat the absolute hell out of the product. That’s it, that’s all you have to do to make a legitimate review.

Anyway, I’m not trying to turn this in to a rant blog. But it’s just something that I keep seeing over and over and it’s been bugging the hell out of me. I’m not saying that you, the creator, can’t have an brand deal, that’s fine. If you cut from your video to you talking about World of Impact: Of War and how they’re giving away 100 free schmeckles and glubbwaggles for people who sign up for your link, that’s fine with the caveat that you’re still responsible for the product your shilling.

So where does this leave me? Well I have decided not to buy Product ever. If I see one of these guys shilling another Product, I’ll be avoiding that too.

Another great AI tool that won’t be made because it’s useful. Monitor Ads and “Influencer” posts about Product and then add a complete block on Product. Do a little reverse advertising…

Finally: yes, some of the people I’m talking about do have the occasional scathing review of a scam product. So what? You have a few vendors who aren’t paying you much, if at all, for you to shill an obvious scam. So you do a big “Expose” style video of you “protecting” your viewers from “evil corporations”. Yeah, uhuh, sure.

P.S: I dunno why I give Gamers Nexus crap, actually taking a step back they are basically the defacto “Review” channel that actually does anything worth a damn. I think what’s his face just rubs me the wrong way, I dunno why.

Anywho, this is Dad, with the Flu, going back to bed…